After a loss

Choosing a funeral home, and what to know before you call

Ten minutes of preparation can change the whole conversation.

The first call to a funeral home often happens within hours of a death, when families are exhausted and in shock. Knowing a few things beforehand makes it easier to compare options and decide calmly.

What families often decide or gather first

• Burial or cremation, if the person said what they wanted
• A rough budget, even a range
• Whether there's a prepaid funeral plan, and with which funeral home
• Whether the person was a veteran, since burial benefits may apply
• Any religious or cultural needs, such as timing or washing
• Whether there's life insurance that might help with costs

Comparing funeral homes

Under the federal Funeral Rule, funeral homes have to give prices over the phone and provide an itemized price list in person. Many families call two or three. Prices for the same service can differ by thousands of dollars in the same town.

Questions families often ask

• What is the basic services fee, and what does it cover?
• What does direct cremation or direct burial cost, all in?
• Can we bring our own casket or urn?
• Is embalming required for what we're planning, and why?
• What's included in this package, and can we remove items?

Common sales pressure

Most funeral directors are honest and caring. Still, the FTC created the Funeral Rule because families were often overcharged at a vulnerable time. Situations families commonly report include:

• Being told a more expensive option is what the person "deserves"
• Packages that include services the family didn't ask for
• "Protective" or sealed caskets presented as preserving the body. No casket does that indefinitely.
• Being told embalming is required by law when it usually isn't
• Pressure to decide quickly