Personal

How to write a letter to your family

There's no wrong way. Short is fine.

A letter isn't a legal document. It's the part of the plan your family may read the most. Many people put off writing one because they don't know what to say. Most letters that families treasure are simple.

What people often include

• What each person has meant to them
• A favorite memory or two
• Hopes for their family's future
• Anything they want to explain, apologize for or let go of
• Small practical wishes, like a favorite song for a service

Ways people make it easier

• Writing a few lines at a time, over several days
• Writing one short letter to each person instead of one long one
• Recording a voice memo or video instead of writing
• Using a prompt, like "The thing I most want you to know is…"

A note on tone

Some people worry their letter will be too sad. Families often say the letters they value most sound like the person: funny, plain or a little messy. Perfect isn't the point.

Some people call this an ethical will or a legacy letter. These aren't legally binding, and they can sit alongside a will.