After a loss
What you don't have to decide today
A few things need doing in the first days. Most things don't.
In the first hours after a death, it can feel like everything needs an answer at once. Very little actually does.
Usually needed in the first few days
- Choosing a funeral home or cremation provider
- Deciding between burial and cremation, or at least giving the funeral home direction
- Telling close family
- Making sure the home, car and any pets are looked after
Usually fine to leave for later
| Decision | Why it can wait |
|---|---|
| What to do with ashes | There's no legal deadline. Many families wait months. |
| A headstone | Cemeteries often wait for the ground to settle before one is set. |
| Belongings and clothes | Nothing needs to be cleared in the first weeks unless a lease is ending. |
| Selling the house or car | These usually go through the estate, which takes time anyway. |
| Closing bank accounts | Banks expect the executor, the person handling the estate, to deal with this over weeks or months. |
| Probate | The court process for settling an estate. It usually starts weeks after the death, not days. |
| An obituary | Online and newspaper notices can be posted after the funeral. |
Funeral homes sometimes present many choices in one meeting. It's common to ask for a price list, go home and decide the next day.
Good to know
A notebook kept in one place, with what's been done and what's still waiting, helps when several people are helping.